


Time

by Buttons15



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-11 07:57:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8970904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Buttons15/pseuds/Buttons15
Summary: Lena has known Emily for what feels like forever, but she can never forget the night they were properly introduced.





	1. Chapter 1

Emily has been in her memories for as long as Lena can remember.

Not much at first, mind you. They studied together in kindergarten, middle and high school, some years on the same class, some years not. Yet they never properly interacted with one another. She recalls Emily being a shy kid when they were pretty much just babies; the other would often stay in the classroom with a book rather than going out to play.

Thinking back to it, she realizes that behavior must have caused Emily great grief in the teenage years, and if Lena could go that further back in time, she’d slap herself for not paying closer attention. Even back then she was always one to stand up against bullies and at times she must have stood up for the other, though no situation in particular came to mind.

She wishes she had befriended Emily back then, because Em was never one of the cool kids and she could have used a friend. Lena wasn’t one of the cool kids either, but she wasn’t quite attuned to the distorted norms of society that prevailed in high school. She was to that environment what a tomato was to fruits: there, yet doing her own thing.

College changed that, because it showed Lena the world was so much larger than she had conceived. And in that sea of new people, new concepts and new ideas, a familiar face was like an anchor to her own identity and to the person she’d always been.  And so she recalls, this memory much more vivid, the first time she and the redhead were properly introduced to one another.

 It went that way: Lena, who was on her second semester of Aerospace Engineering, was dating Jim, a boy she had calculus with. Jim, in turn, was friends with Kenny, who had been hooking up with a girl from his philosophy class. That was Emily to her, at first: the girl of her boyfriend’s buddy, like a cousin third removed.

 They met in a bar on a Friday night, under comforting yellow lights and a live band who covered The Beatles. Emily was wearing a beautiful blue-green pashmina – that, too, she remembers, because the scarf ended up on her neck by the end of the evening.

“This is Lena,” Jim said when they first took their seats. “Lena, you know Kenny, and that would be –”

“Emily,” she cut him short. “We’ve, uh, we’ve met.”

The redhead answered with a smile that made something in her chest tighten. “Lena Oxton,” she greeted. “I wasn’t sure you’d recognize me.”

“You’ve changed,” she conceded, taking a sip from her cup of tea. “You look a lot more…”

She trailed off, unsure what to say.  She tried to invoke those foggy and elusive childhood memories for comparison. The change was there, in the way the other held herself, stood up straighter, spoke with a firmer tone, dressed sharply. ‘Confident’ didn’t quite cover it.

“…well, _more,_ ” she finished.

Emily laughed. “Cheeky as always, I see.” She elbowed Kenny on the ribs. “Lena here was quite the ruffian back in middle school. Always getting in trouble.”

Their eyes met, and Lena noticed for the first time the other’s lovely shade of green. She felt her lips curl into an involuntary smirk.

“Is that so, love?” her boyfriend asked. “Had I known she’d have embarrassing childhood tales, I would have arranged this meeting sooner.”

Jim wrapped one arm around her shoulder and planted a kiss on her jaw. Somehow, under Emily’s scrutiny, the gesture seemed even more uncomfortable than she had grown used to.

“Bollocks,” she snapped, pulling her arms closer to herself. “Every genius is misunderstood in youth.”

“That’s not to say you weren’t quite bright,” Emily replied, drinking from her mug. “You had the best…whatchamacallit…? Those little planes. I’m tempted to say ‘toys’ but those seemed a bit more…professional looking, if you will.”

“Scaled Aircraft Models,” she supplied. “I still have ‘em.”

“I feel you’d have a lot to tell me about those.”

Lena’s eyes twinkled with excitement. “Yes, absolutely! Some have their own different methods of lift, and some have more wings than others – the monoplanes, the biplanes, the – sorry.” She blinked. “I must be boring you.”

Emily shook her head. “It is always a pleasure to hear someone talk about the things they are passionate about. You should show me the models, if you ever catch a break.”

She was somehow indescribably moved by it. “Yea, sure,” she nodded. “Thanks. I’d love to.”

Under the table, she felt Jim’s hands slide into her own. Their fingers interlaced and the two boys turned their attention to them, apparently done with whatever they were talking about.

“Oi, Oxton,” Kenny pointed at her with his bottle of beer. “You two are like best friends already! Took me months to get this one to even say me ‘Hi’!” He took a swig. “If I didn’t know better, I’d be worried you’ll steal her from me.”

Whatever had been squeezing in her chest suddenly got a lot heavier, and she felt as if her blood had suddenly turned to ice. “I’m not some bloody queer,” she snapped.

_What the fuck, Lena?_

She regretted those words as soon as they were out of her mouth.

“’Scuse me,” Emily cut in, narrowing her eyes. “Bloody queer here.” She smiled in a manner that had no right to be so beautiful. “Men, Women, Omnics – all are one within the iris.”

_And there you go, sounding like a complete asshole. Congratulations._

She cleared her throat, flushing. “I – I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it in a bad way – not that there is a bad way to it, I just –” she stammered, trying in her mind to put together the words to explain the unexplainable.

She looked at Emily, hopeless. In those gentle green eyes, she unexpectedly found comprehension.

“I understand,” the redhead replied, and Lena felt her shoulder muscles go a little less tense.

“Besides, queer or not, this one already got her match, ain’t that so, love?” Jim leaned in and punctuated his sentence with a kiss. His tongue against hers made her stomach turn. She could never really tell whether that reaction corresponded to the infamous butterflies or just plain old nausea, but either way, she was disappointed with their return.

_I thought I was past this._

“Yeah,” she muttered quietly, almost as if she didn’t want anyone to hear. “I guess I do.”

She traded phone numbers with Emily on their way out, scribbled on paper napkins because her mobile’s battery was long dead.  She promised to keep in touch, but instead when she got home, before she even plugged the phone into the charger, she crumpled that piece of paper into a neat little ball and flushed it down the toilet.

Lena brushed her teeth four or six times before she finally felt clean enough to go to bed.

When she checked her mobile in the morning, there were two texts. One was from Jim, thanking her for the good time and wishing her a good evening. The other was from an unknown number. Her fingers shook when she opened the message.

_> Fancy showing me those planes this weekend?_

She put the phone down, then picked it up. Down, up. Locked and unlocked the screen at least six times.

 _Don’t be a coward, Oxton,_ she told herself, and in the end that was what tipped her decision. Because she could be many things – selfish, oblivious, impatient, sometimes downright insensitive and yes, maybe even a _queer_.

But a not a coward.

Never a coward.

_< I’d love to._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I hope it hurts)
> 
> I might continue this, maybe. I dunno. I feel like I should have more to say about it but I just dunno. Hopefully you guys enjoyed it; it was kinda rough to write.


	2. Chapter 2

They were best friends through their remaining college years. They studied on the same campus, on opposite ends because Emily coursed something in the area of humanities and Lena was always knee-deep in maths. They met for lunch at least twice a week, and on weekends at least twice a month. Lena did show off her model planes, and they spent many afternoons together, she babbling about a Boeing this, a Fighter Jet that. Emily not once made her feel as if she was being tedious or repetitive.

She listened, too, and it was never a burden. Em was a quiet person in general, but she could go on for hours about Freud or Jung. Every now and then the redhead would show up with one psychological test or another. Lena made up answers when the other brought her blotches of ink to look at, and she would always have a blast answering the many quizzes her friend loved doing. It was Emily who taught her she was an ENFP and a lawful good and a Gryffindor, though she only knew what the last one meant.

She dressed as Harry Potter on Christmas that year, to go with it.

Lena was halfway through Engineering when she began the flight lessons, three hours every Saturday, and at first it meant she had less time for her friend. Emily was nothing but understanding, and after the third or fourth lesson, she showed up to watch. She dramatically waved that blue-green scarf and blew kisses every time Lena took off. The pilot would invariably find her friend’s nose buried on a book when she landed, and they grew into the habit of going for a glass of bubble tea on their way out.

That was when Lena cut her hair short, too. It was easier to fit it in the helmet that way, and she enjoyed the windswept look it got after flying a biplane. Emily wasn’t with her when she got her new haircut, and so she sent the other a snapchat selfie, goggles on her head and tongue sticking out, _‘Rockin’ a new look’_ as a subtitle. She counted the seconds to a reply – seven of them, before Em texted her back a winking picture with a single word.

_"Cute.”_

She managed to take a snapshot of the image just before it blinked out.

Her relationship with Jim didn’t last very long, and though the excuse she used to break up was that she needed to focus on her studies, she fully blamed herself for it. There were others after him – Kevin, a drunk hook up on a Sunday night; Eddie, a boy she met on her flight school, and last but not least Steve, who was kind and volunteered at the same homeless shelter Lena did.

She ended the relationship with each and every single one of them, every time with a different excuse. Steve was the worst, because to him, she did manage to speak out the truth, or her vision of it: that she couldn’t bear to be touched, that his contact was _wrong_ and it made her uncomfortable, that their kissing felt unclean.

She regretted the words – she felt he didn’t deserve that. Sadly, they could not be taken back. Still, Lena promised herself after that incident that she would never again get into a relationship in which she couldn’t reciprocate the desire for touch. Considering her samples of four attempts zero successes, she concluded that surely meant she would never date again.

She used to talk about boys with Emily, on their Saturday evenings sitting in random pubs. Yet she did it less and less after each break up, until the subject just stopped showing up altogether. She began changing topics every time the conversation went that way, and Em was quick to notice her discomfort. She never offered an explanation and the other never pressed for one, for which Lena was grateful.

Emily graduated first, six months before she did. Lena worried they would lose contact when work and adult life got in the way, but though each grew busier, the redhead never skipped a single of her flying lessons. In return, Lena would always show up for lunch at least once a week.

The meeting that would radically change the course of her life happened on a Saturday afternoon, moments after Lena was done landing. She had piloted her favorite fighter that day and that put her in a great mood, particularly considering she wasn’t scheduled to fly it for at least a month. It had come as a happy surprise to see it free in that morning.

A woman was expecting her on the hangar.

“Captain Ana Amari, pleasure to meet you,” the lady extended her hand and Lena shook it, beaming her usual friendly smile.

The name sounded familiar but she couldn’t quite pinpoint it.

“Lena Oxton, pleasure’s all mine, ma’am. How may I help you?”

“You have stellar records,” the other began, leading the way to the reception room. She followed, excited. “Graduated in Aerospacial Engineering, too. A pilot and an engineer? Amazing.”

The words made her smile turn into a grin.  She was proud of herself, proud of her work and her achievements. “Thank you, Captain. I like to work hard.”

She saw a twinkle on Ana’s eyes. “That’s good, really good. Say, have you heard of Overwatch…?” she trailed off.

Lena’s heart did a little flip on her chest and suddenly the name “Amari” clicked into place. The realization struck her with such force she stopped on her tracks.

_No way._

_“Fuck,”_ she couldn’t stop herself. “I – I’m sorry, I just – wow. _The_ Ana Amari. _Holy shit_. Can you autograph one of my model planes?”

She tapped her pockets for a pen, but found none. Perhaps Emily would have one.

“…offer?”

She realized Ana had been talking all along. She blinked, sheepish.

“I’m sorry, could you say that again?”

Ana arched an eyebrow at her. “I said, how about a job offer? We have a project going on…top secret, and I feel you might be just the person for it.”

 

* * *

 

It was Emily who drove her to the airport on the night she departed to the Overwatch facility. She was wearing the blue-green pashmina she had worn when they first met, the very one she waved at Lena whenever she took off. Moments before she got into the embarking room, the redhead took off the scarf and wrapped it around Lena’s neck.

“For good luck, Ace,” she said before planting a kiss on her cheek.

Lena still had it with her when she finally took the Slipstream to the skies.

 

* * *

 

She can’t recall anything of the accident or the two months that followed, nothing but excruciating pain, the sensation of being ripped to shreds, and then the anguish of inexisting.

Later, others would tell her she would materialize in places, just a specter of despair crossing space-time.

Later, others would explain to her how every single atom of her being had been ripped from its rightful place in the universe and cast adrift.

At first she feels if she makes an effort she could probably remember, perhaps even bring some useful information about the accident to the engineers. At times she is sure of it, that she has a moral obligation to reclaim those memories and it would be possible if only she could be brave enough to overcome her panic of _fading_ , if only she could be strong enough to face those days of wandering, _if only._

The thought haunts her for many months until she takes it to Ziegler in an unscheduled visit at three in the morning.

The doctor asks her whether she _wants_ to remember.

She says _no_.

It takes Angela four more weeks of late-night visits to lift her burden by making whichever memories remained disappear forever.

 

* * *

 

Lena remembers her first night after the work on the portable chronal accelerator was done and she was finally allowed to leave the lab. She can never forget how it felt to be solid again and how grateful she was to be able to just _touch_ things – Winston’s fur, a glass of water, the walls of the compound, little things she had been used to but now felt so precious.

She promised herself she would never ever take anything for granted again.

Emily was there when she got out, of course. She had been there from the very moment Winston voiced the possibility of getting her back. Hell, Lena would wager the other had been on the Overwatch facility even before that, perhaps on the same day she received the letter which informed Agent Tracer had gone missing in action.

She cried like a damn baby when they finally hugged, and then again when they went together for bubble tea, and once more when they sat to watch the sunset and Lena couldn’t quite wrap her head around how the sun only went down but never back up.

She woke up scared in the middle of that night, like she had all nights before, gasping for air and yearning for contact. The chronal accelerator glowed blue in the corner, casting haunting shadows all over the room.

Lena wasn’t in her right mind when she stood up and walked to the room next door, where she knew her friend laid. She wasn’t sure how far she could go from the cursed machine either, and so she dragged it behind her, groggy with sleep yet horribly uneasy.

She felt guilty when her entrance woke Emily up.

“Hey, heart of Tony Stark,” the other mumbled with a sleepy smile, rubbing her eyes.

“Bloody hell,” she cursed. “Thing glows like the freaking Lighthouse of Alexandria.”

Emily chuckled, pushing herself to a sitting position. Lena carefully kicked the accelerator under the table, closing the door behind her. Once she did, though, she hesitated.

“I – umm.”

Emily shook her head and patted the bed. “Just c’mover here, little imp. God knows how much I’ve missed you.”

She was too tired to question it, and far too broken by the world to deny she’d missed the other dearly. She climbed into bed shyly, doing as little noise as she could. Once there, she tucked her head under Emily’s chin and cuddled up to the redhead’s chest.

Em’s arms around her were the most real thing she felt since she was stabilized.

Lena started crying again.

“Shhh, dummy, it’s okay,” Emily touched a nose to her nape, and she shivered. “You’re here now. I’m not even mad you lost my scarf.”

“Get you ‘nother one,” she babbled, sniffling. “That one was always my favorite.”

“I’m sure whichever you get me will be my new favorite,” the other whispered. “I’m sorry, Lena. I should never have let you go.”

She looked up to meet teary green eyes, and a lump formed on her throat. “Not your fault, luv. Not anyone’s fault. Sometimes bad things…just happen. I don’t regret making that choice.”

“Then I’m glad I stood by you,” the redhead pulled her closer.

Lena fell into the first night of restful sleep in what could have been forever.

She went back to Emily’s bed on the next evening, and every evening after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- I hope it HURTS  
> \- There's so many little scenes I skimmed over and I might eventually go back to write, but I'm letting them out to the world so that maybe someone else decides before me that "Lena shows Emily her collection of miniature airplanes" is a thing that should be written.  
> \- Ana is the Overwatch equivalent of Nick Fury  
> \- The stupid scarf  
> \- "But buttons, can you really make traumatic memories disappear?" Yes. No. Maybe. It's complicated. You just might be able to fragment them to oblivion with a nice dose of betablockers and the correct stimulation...maybe. We're not sure.  
> \- Lena is so gay and so fucking dense


	3. Chapter 3

Emily knew something was amiss before she even got to the door.

She and Lena had been sharing the apartment for two months now, and living with the Overwatch agent was never boring. And so when she got to the last flight of stairs and she could neither hear anything clanging nor smell anything burning, a gnawing worry made its way to her stomach, and she walked a little bit faster.

Sure enough, when she finally stepped into her house, she found Lena sitting on the floor, curled up so her chin rested on top of her knees, staring fixedly at the accelerator. She could feel anxiety come out of the other in waves.  Emily exhaled and tossed her purse on the counter, then reached out to the closet and grabbed the fluffiest blanket she could find.

She walked to Lena and wordlessly threw it over her shoulders, planting a kiss on the other’s scalp. The brunette looked up at her, eyes wide.

“Em, we… we need to talk.”

Emily sighed, unsurprised. She half wanted to slap Lena for saying such ominous words, half wanted to hug her and tell her everything would be fine. She did neither, walking to their open kitchen instead.

“Can it wait past dinner?”

Emily knew Lena would often act on impulse and blurt out things without thinking only to later regret them, and so she had the habit of forcing the other to calm down by building a familiar and comfortable environment.

“I – yes, of course,” Lena stammered, standing. “’m sorry, I was idling here all afternoon and didn’t even fix us dinner – stupid.” She muttered.

“It’s all right,” the redhead moved over so her roommate could join her in the counter. “I like doing it with you,” she punctuated it by softly jabbing Lena’s ribs with her elbow. “Besides, you could use some time to think about…whatever it is. Pass the tomatoes, please.”

The brunette handed her the fruits. “’Been thinking about it all day.”

“I wasn’t around all day,” she pointed out. “But now we’re together and we’re cooking and maybe it’ll help freshen out your thoughts.”

“Right,” Lena exhaled. Her hands were trembling ever so slightly. “Right, Em. Thanks.”

They worked in silence for a dozen minutes until the food was done. It was simple soup, but Emily made a point of adding ingredients she knew Lena liked. They sat in front of the TV with their respective bowls, one on each side of the sofa, and the redhead put the TV on Discovery Channel so they could watch the latest episode of ‘ _Naked and Afraid_ ’.

When the show was over and the other still hadn’t said anything, Emily sat up straighter and stretched her arms.

“How about we go to bed?” she suggested. “Things often get easier once you sleep on them.”

“I can’t,” Lena turned to her, teary eyed. “Wouldn’t be right for me to – to sleep next to you like that,” she stammered. “Not with the way I’ve been thinking the things I’m thinking, I –”

“Hey,” Emily moved closer and tentatively brushed her fingers against Lena’s damp cheeks. The other allowed contact. “Want to tell me what’s anguishing you so much, so we can work it out together?”

“I – I. I just. I’m thinking, I –” A long pause. Emily let her work the words out. “I’m thinking I – I may be queer for you, Em.”

_Oh._

She wanted to burst out laughing. She wanted to run out the apartment, kneel into the snow, raise her head to the skies and sing ‘Hallelujah.’

“…okay,” she said instead, displaying the hint of a smile. “I don’t mind it. It doesn’t have to change anything.”

She saw Lena visibly relax with relief, though she still seemed unsure.

“Also,” Emily continued, “I’m thinking I may be queer for you too, Lena.”

_And if you had any ideas about the things **I’ve** been thinking… gosh, you are too pure._

“Oh.” The other blinked, eyes wide. “Then…that’s a good thing, right? If we’re both queer for one another then…uh…what now?”

It was really, really hard to stop herself from _engaging sexual intercourse_ right then and there. But this was Lena, her best friend who had a terrible habit of taking things too quickly. Lena, who had a past of failed relationships that made her insecure and who was struggling to accept she might be gay.

Even though it was _so fucking obvious._

“Now we sleep on it, of course. I bet things will look clearer tomorrow.” Emily replied, standing. “Coming with?” She offered Lena a hand and the other took it, still shaking.

Abruptly, she yanked the brunette closer and picked her up, swiping her off her feet. She threw Lena over her shoulder like she would do with a sack of potatoes – the other was unsurprisingly light – and then ran to their bedroom.

“Oi!” Lena protested before bursting out in giggles.

“Rrrrahhhhh!”  Emily stopped by the bed. “JUSTICE RAINS –”

“Don’t you dare –”

“ – FROM ABOVE!” she finished, tossing her roommate on the mattress with a judo flip.

Lena bounced on the bed, hissing a bunch of curses in British. Laughing, Emily tackled her down and tickled her on the ribs. The other was agile, wriggling out of the redhead’s hold while snickering herself out of breath.  She took a pillow to the face, and responded in kind.

Twenty minutes later the two laid together under the glow of the chronal accelerator.

Lena was, as always, the first to fall asleep.

 

* * *

_Who would have guessed I’d end up getting her a new scarf, in the end?_

They walked back from the night at Winston’s, taking a lazy stroll through King’s Row. The accelerator’s most portable version yet hung from her pocket. She couldn’t really blink or rewind with it, but that was all right. Lena found that for once, her moment in time was enough. For once, she just wanted to enjoy in the present.

Emily pulled on her hand, bringing her attention to one of the house’s pretty Christmas decorations. Lena smiled at them, reindeers and sleds and a Santa figure, glowing in various colors. She liked the feeling of Em’s fingers against hers, even in the biting cold.

_I never get tired of being around you,_ Lena thought, but didn’t say, taking in the other’s features with her eyes, burning them to memory as best as she could. _You make me feel grounded in the instant like no machine ever could._

“Winston was happy to see us there, even though we were late,” Emily began. “Which is incredible, by the way. You literally have your own time machine and you can never arrive in time.”

Lena let a lazy smile cross her features. “To be fair, time machines only bring more work. Just look at Doctor Who or that Harry Potter movie where Hermione had the time-thing and she used it to study _more.”_

The redhead burst out laughing. “Point taken, smartass. I just wish we had more…days like these, you know?”

_You make me feel important,_ Lena thought, but didn’t say. _And welcome. You’ve always made me feel welcome. You always listen. I feel like I can tell you anything._

“Yeah…” she trailed off. “I know.”

They stopped by their doorstep and as if by unspoken agreement lingered by the door, extending the moment for just a little longer. Their eyes met, and Lena made note of their vivid green, as she always did.

_I’m so glad I met you,_ Lena thought, but didn’t say. _I couldn’t imagine my life without you._

The redhead hopped on her feet, her breath condensing in little puffs. “Come on inside,” she said. “I’ve got you a little something, too.”

“Wait,” she took a step closer. “Kiss me before we go in?”

Emily tilted her head, amused. “Of course.”

_I love you so much,_ Lena thought when their lips met.

And then she said it, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the pain was necessary so you could be prepared for the cavities induced by the excessively sweet final chapter.  
> thanks for reading, every one!


End file.
